The Needle In The Haystack By Abiodun Oni

“It’s a handcuff”…. that’s what she called it… The wedding band on her finger, she was referring to.    “Whenever you have that band on that finger” she continued, “you are in bondage, bound and you can’t decide or decipher anything on your own anymore, any longer and forevermore”…in my mind I said well not forevermore…there are choices unless you choose the creed ‘until death do us part’.

In the same scoop of vents, amidst other topics of discussion, she continued ” so if I wasn’t married by now, won’t you be feeling sorry for me that I am not married by now?”

WomenThat’s the same woman in the same conversation with the same person….and I just sat there, listening attentively, quoting, Adewale Ayuba, listening attentively.

So is she liking marriage or dissing it?

What do women really want?


Noo,  no, …ahn ahn…my’s is just not about women this time…not today joor…all the time what women want?, it’s all about women, women and men, women women. Well let’s dwell on it for a lirrl while then… what really do they want? You need not walk a mile to get answers, because it’s a question that gets asked and answered a million times over a millionth time…. We all know sha, it’s just to have their way…

It’s all about women, the whole world, all that men are, that men can be or aspire to be.. It’s all about the “women”. Think about yourself as a growing boy when it’s you and your mum, then you and your sister (if any) then your girlfriend, your wife and finally your daughter! Then may be if you are among that 95% (statistics mine) (PMMM) post marriage multitude men, a girlfriend that in some cases later becomes another wife or remains that other woman.


What they like, whom they like, is whom and what you like, the good and the bad as they see and filter it, will shape you and soon becomes your roundabout, any attempt to go at a tangent becomes a grumble or you crumble….you may even get denied some candy later at night (if your wife or GF) ….the good thing though is that there is always a choice between peace and nothing.

I have always said it…in a home where there is peace, its because the woman is happy, the guy don’t really matter….in most cases.women

So we know what they want, what women want, is to have their way. To have their way ‘anyways’ in all ways all the time.

You will see freshness, satisfaction, peace and joy, then you will be the one, THE HUSBAND.

Ok, enough of the bashing? No oo, but it’s just the fact now, no bashing o….don’t want the wifey denying me candy abeg….

So this Men…Our Men, We-Men… you see a connection there? We men, Wo-men, if there is a connection in the meanings of holla, hello, enle-o…there must be a connection between We Men and Women, of course.

Oh yes, never mind I’ll send this to her to edit first…then whatever you think don’t ‘marra’..LOL

So We Men, we like to dance and jab, there is some Ali in most of us, float like a bee, sting like a butterfly or so we like to be perceived, the hero, knight in the shiny armor, the man that never cries, the provider, the protector, the rock, the master in charge and in control…..’darisit’.

But sorry, let me break your heart….with all that medal and accolades, what a man thinks and worries about only and the most is how to provide for the family even that is been shared mostly by Women today – not our fault, daaw!…


Women asked for it, what a man can do, a woman can do better, women wanted it and they got it…the cliché carefully managed and orchestrated, the women took it in swallowed it hook, line and sinker and guess what, women ended up with so much more on their plate…We Men in our usually generous manner been the giver always gave it up as well, if you want to do what we do, you can, please, with all pleasure. And over the years, the women plate continue to fill more and more as We Men continued to cede to Women as they want to do what we do.

womenSo what did we end up with? We Men multitasking is only in providing for the family, the Women wanted to work and make money including their traditional role, without making a case to shed or share some of that role with Men.So they end up with a full and overflowing plate, but the men generally has had his traditional role not eroded but made a lot easier and less tasking. I will take that.

You Women asked for it, We Men gave it.

Women will multitask at work, at home, with the kids, executing and running the home and family projects and still expected to give the best candy….OMG! So let’s get to the wires…the specie, the Man, a myth and the mystery, still remain and retains almighty position after God….what is it about him….?

Women always erroneously think we men are just all about Food and Sex. But I tell you its more than that.


What Men want, yes what do men want….here, you and I, Like the needle in the Haystack, we will try to unravel and untwine the mystery, the man. So in your ‘Queendom” with the help of all you Queens out there you will share with us what your King wants or you think he wants, so together, all of us, you and myself we will continue to search and find what men want.


Article by Abiodun Oni

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